Thursday, July 10, 2008
was supposed to post this entry yesterday when you leave..
But i didnt get the chance to do so..
I was too tired and rushing for proj..
Yesterday was the most drainest(if ever there is this word) of my life..
Woke up very early to went over your place..so that i could probably spend the last few individual moments we have left before sending you in..To hug as long as i wanted so i wont have to hug u in the public that long not becos i dont want to but that will send me bursting into tears..
But still..as much as i wanted to..how much i have told u the night before..in e end i onli got the chance to hug u less than 5mins at ur hse..And we left hse early taking cab to pasir ris interchange..I wonder if u notice..I was trying to find stuff to talk abt and that helps to cover up my emotions..
I hate Kranji cos that's the first place you went back malaysia saying ur 'bye' to me months back
Now i hate Pasir Ris cos that place will be the place i have to keep sending you off in the next coming 9weeks to be when u book in..
I hate Tekong even more cos that's the place i literally saw your back view slowly fading off infront of me..and that's the last time i see u since..
They should have allowed u to send us to the ferry..say your goodbyes there instead of a quick 'bye' at the canteen..of all places CANTEEN~!!
initally i was like mayb you guys gather at parade square and then later on there be last farewell before you guys offically carry on with the stuff..But once i heard 'parents and friends please proceed to the ferry terminal..there be people guiding you along the way' and that's when POOF i realise the hug and a peck on the lips from you at the canteen was the last and all i got..Didnt even have a proper farewell..I'm like so cursing below my breathe..
Waving 'bye' to you while you standing on the parade square send sour twitch to my heart..I didnt cry..tears still in control..But the moment i saw u turning away and marching off..i cant help but tears drop down..But your mom is crying even harder then me..I've to console her..
Giving her a hug and patting her back was all i can do..i couldnt even figured out what can i excatly do..I'm numb,speechless and lost at tat period of time..
Walking back in slience with ur parents walking along side..i'm desperately controlling my tears..
The moment i board the ferry..i felt giddy with the ferry rocking here and there non stop..
I close my eyes thorughout the journey back to changi ferry terminal..Bus journey back to pasir ris interchange and Mrt journey all the way back to school..slowly letting myself recalling about the times we have been together..
Its hard to handle..
Its hard for me to get used to it in such a short period of time..wad's more its onli the 2nd day..
I'll try hard to be use to it..
To be use to the fact you cant be there for me this 2 confinement weeks like the past when i wanted you to be..
I'll keep myself busy with stuff so i wont have to think as much..
But like what some of my friends say..its a heart wrenching period for me..and that its hard to get over but as time goes by i still have to slowly accustomed to it..
I know..
i know all this..
so i'll try..
You look so innocent with the black spects..
I miss your kisses..
My little note for you..
*Always remember I LOVE YOU*
couldnt see the pic clearly..
Its number 7..Laogong fav number..
He's the 7th person to be booked in for his batch..
My boy will become a Men..
My own men..hehe..
I MISS YOU..
*waiting for your call*
Signing off: Phoebe aka lp
8:00 PM
